the primer
the unexamined life is not worth living- PlatoI wanted to start this blog with the interjection of a quote which is what got me started to even thinking of creating this. I was sitting on the couch this morning, reading this book that was given to me by an acquaintence; a book that, consequently, sat on the bookshelf for some time until I felt guilty enough about not returning it for so long that I picked it up and began reading. The result: I was shocked as it hit me right where I am at. It got me to thinking that I would like to have an open, honest, and well thought out discussion on our faith. What it is, where we place ourselves in it personally right now, why we believe it, etc.
I will quit rambling and paste the quote below. If this idea interests you, please join in on the discussion/exploration.
-J.M.
“ I am approaching from a new side: the rear. I was raised in a family that attended church on Sunday. It has become such a part of my life that I am no longer certain it is real: Do I possess a personal faith, or just my own learned behaviour? I have passed through what modern Christianity has to offer and am standing at the other end questioning ‘is this it?’ Years of Sundays stack end to end on a calendar marked with church camps, youth group, mission trips, concerts, seminars, revivals, and retreats. All of them add up to the chasing of an elusive emotional fulfilment, one that slips in and out of my consciousness like a ghost.
Still, and despite my weariness with this chase, I am looking for fulfilment in Christ. Something inside keeps me in pursuit. There must be something more. Something authentic. I feel that I have only passed through the shadow of the Christian faith and eluded its consequence and substance [...] Having believed and experienced life change in the newness of my faith, I am left now, having passed considerable time since my rebirth, with a faith that feels as empty and arid as a cavern. I’ve memories of joy, but nothing to quench the present thirst...”
Donald Miller
Prayer and the Art of Volkswagen Maintenance
Harvest House, Eugene, 2000.
posted by J.M @ 10:21 AM
4 Comments:
My thoughts and reactions: ‘Is anybody out there?’
This quote really rings true to me. As I was in the shower, I kept thinking of the word enculturation: an anthropological term which, loosely defined, means the way you are conditioned to believe/ act /think/ by your culture that surrounds you (you know, the one you had no choice to be born into and that shaped who you are).
I was born, and thus, encultured, into a Christian environment. I am not saying this is a fundamentally wrong thing, but let me put it another way:
If I was born in an Islamic culture, Buddhist culture, (insert whatever culture you want here) I would, with a similar likelihood, be raised Muslim, Buddhist, etc. and be enculturated as such. I would have probably invested my life and faith in those ideals. Now, say I met such a person, and learned of their beliefs and upbringing. My immediate response right now (which I think is one I have been enculturated to think by my upbringing): I feel I would look down on them if they wholeheartedly swallowed and followed what they were brought up to believe. Why, because I believe it is a partial truth. I would see them as a lemming who is blindly following those before him/her with no application of thought or weighing out of the possibilities. This conclusion begs the question: why do I not look upon myself in the same way?
Now, I don’t want to come off as if I have not examined/questioned my faith before. I have. Many times. I think it was Victor Hugo who said: ‘Doubt is the ants in the pants of faith. It is what keeps it alive’. I am not even, necessarily speaking of doubt per say. You know me, I am a twenty-something who hopefully you see as being mostly rational and grounded in his faith and life (if not, well, maybe you know me better than I think you do).
And now I get to the clincher--the reason I suggested this in the first place:
I really identified with the quote above. Like Miller (the writer of the quote in the first post), I was brought up in the Christian culture. Make that the fundamentalist, Cavinist, controlled, guilt driven, Christian culture. I did the retreats, the spazzy revival stuff, the bible studies, youth groups, missions trips, you name it. I did it. Add to that half of my life as a pastors kid and the resulting expectations of either perfection or rebellion that come along with it. I too, if I am honest (and that is the whole reason for this), see myself in that ‘faith that feels as empty and arid as a cavern’ (Miller). I see my life as having a past that consisted of emotional and perhaps genuine encounters with a true spirituality, but that was then. That is not now. Now I feel an emptiness, a void of sorts. Call it a hunger, call it a barrenness. Whatever it is, I feel it. Like there is a lack of meaning.
I have read the books, you know the ones about fixing your life and finding purpose and all that. They are great. I mean no offence to the authors or the texts themselves, but I am still left with this feeling.
I have read the bible, and know if more than I think I know it. I identify with areas of it. For some reason I believe it to be the infallible word of God (my upbringing, perhaps?)
...But I am still left here at a crossroads of sorts. Looking for meaning. Is anyone else here?
The bible mentions working out your faith with fear and trembling. Is this what this means?
To be honest, I feel safe in asking such questions here. I don’t necessarily feel this way in my ‘real’ life. I am an elder in our church, I am a teacher in a Christian school. To ask such questions openly without self censoring to be sure I am safe is a risky thing. I don’t want to censor myself here. I don’t want to think about and nicely package my thoughts and questions. I just want to put them out there and have an open and honest discussion. Three guys, really talking. You know?
If geography didn’t separate us we could sit around a campfire or sit around cups of coffee and have these discussions. But perhaps this is better. We can be free to think and not worry about long silences. We can be free think and not worry about coming off with the reactionary programmed answers and jargon. Perhaps this is a better format for reflection and honest conversation. I guess it is the one we have for now.
Lets call this an experiment in open conversation over the bounds of space and time in the 21st century. The apostles wrote letters (the archaeological genesis of the blog??)
I don’t know. What do you think?
-j.m
In response to Aaron's post...
First of all, there is alot there and I apologize for not addressing the whole thing.
I want you to know that I agree with your premise. I, too, feel that we are more than mere automatons who have no choice but to follow their role. The verse from Romans is very apt in this instance.
I recall reaching that age where you hold up everything in your hands and say 'is this what I really believe?' I recall saying yes. It is not just what my family believes, I believe it. I will live it out, no more games. I had reached the point where playing church and christian was either going to quit being a game or routine that I followed and become a reality, or be left behind. I chose to quit playing the game.
But here are some questions (in retrospect):
When in that time did I examine other faiths and beliefs?
Did I ever pick up a book that represented other faith (i.e. a book written by a member of that faith, not one written by a christian author 'exposing' the falseness of that faith) or meet with a Jewish, Buddhist, Islamic, etc. representative to really examine the choices.
In short: did I really make an informed decision.
Now, lets put things in perspective...If you were to buy a car, it would be wise to shop around, right? research the market, window shop at different dealerships, find a brand to espouse loyalty to, and test drive several models after narrowing down the market. This seems like a reasonable strategy. After all, buying a car is a big investment.
Why does this not apply to faith? After all, it is the BIGGEST investment you will ever make. (and, according to our Christian beliefs, Christ is the ONLY way to heaven. If you bugger than one up, then you're done for, right? A pretty important decision).
Now..in that example I left out one big factor: word of mouth. When you buy a car (at least when I do) alot is put on someone's opinion. You ask your friends, you ask people who drive that model of car. And for me, alot came from my upbringing. My dad is a Toyota man. Self-confessed, very loyal. I have followed that line. We both agree that a good car is one that runs.
Now, mind you, I have tried other brands, but the end result is the Toyota Echo that is parked in our parking spot (which was preceded by a Toyota tercel).
So, I guess you can see that as being what you are brought up to believe. A type of faith brand loyalty that is inculcated into your psyche from birth.
Now, I don't want to claim that we are mindless followers. Choice, as you suggested, is a huge thing. But what is this choice? Were you ever presented with a buffet of world religions that had their views represented accurately (i.e. not by a biased individual who was speaking from another standpoint, which leads to another question: is there such an unbiased individual out there?) in a fair venue and then asked to choose?
Have you ever read the 'holy books' of other faiths to ascertain their worth?
Have you made a fully researched and educated choice?
Let's not confuse enculturation with animal instinct.
It is merely the way things work in this physical world. The culture in which you are born largely influences your life. Even if you will live. It seems unfair. As U2 front man Bono says 'where you live should not decide/whether you live or whether you die' (Crumbs from Your Table--How to Dismantle and Atomic Bomb). But it largely does, for now.
I think it usually also decides your faith flavour of choice. Mind you, we do not live in a country that has state sanctioned or controlled religion. This means we have freedom to choose. But there is that word again: choice.
How do you make a choice without giving heed to the influences of your upbringing?
Now, this leads to your mentioning of the Seeker God. The one who actively seeks out people and calls them by name. I wholeheartedly agree with this concept, and I believe that part of this seeking is His placing us within the familial, cultural contexts in which we are born. Now, not being God, I don't understand His rhyme or reason. Why was I born into a Christian environment and not a Buddhist one?
I have no idea.
So, in conclusion, a question:
You mentioned we choose to conform or not.
Is this an informed decision, and if so, how did you reach it in an informed way?
In response to Steve's post...
I think you have hit on a good point, but from where I am standing I wonder if it isn't a little too simple of an answer.
At one point Christ said something about building a tower...something about 'no man builds a tower unless he considers the building of it first' sorry for the paraphrase...
i think the same can be said for a faith journey...you don't just undertake that journey without considering it fully. At least, one would think it prudent to fully examine your choice before dedicating your life to it. After all, we are talking about eternity here, aren't we?
When you go on a trip, first you have to research. You have to have and idea of your intended destination.
When you invest your money in something it would be wise to research that potential investment.
When you go to a university or college, don't you think it would be prudent to check out the school's reputation and credentials before signing the cheque?
If you are wanting to get married, according to our culture it is a good idea to date the person first...you know, get to know them a little before taking the lifelong vow.
The idea of research and investigating seems prudent in these situations, yet for faith you say it is more important to be informed of the heart...
What do you mean when you say heart? I assume you are speaking to that christian type thing...not the mass of muscle tissue and blood inside me.
I agree that your heart, soul, whatever you want to call it is a crucial element in your faith exploration.
Yes, God can speak to the 'heart' of man, but so can other things.
I still hold to the quote from Plato...the unexamined life is not worth living. If someone has not examined their faith, and why they believe it, then I think it is not a working walking faith but a prop. The bible says something about 'everyone, when asked, shoudl be able to give a reason for their faith' perhaps that is what I am getting at. Telling someone, 'oh I'm a christian because i was brought up that way, or 'it was what i was led to believe' doesn't seem to be a good reason for faith.
j.m.
In response to Aaron's post...
Meaningless, meaningless...
I think this is a very great and astute post. Thank you for it. I can't respond to the whole thing as it is very packed full, but will try to record some of my thoughts and reactions...
The Solomon thing. Yes. right on. Here is a guy who was supposedly wise, but set out to experience it all. Perhaps he found himself in a similar situation as we do sometimes, just questioning.. But you are right, in the end, after all his hedonistic kind of wandering and all that he experienced, he came back to 'fear God and keep his commands'.
I see his 'meaningless meaningless, everything is meaningless' as his assessment of all the pleasure and materialistic things he could gather. And you are right, this included delving into other spiritual streams. His research, as you stated, was thorough. The guy checked it all out. Did it all, experienced it all, and in the end, came up against the emptiness of it all.
Very very interesting.
I also agree with the idea that there is a spot where our so-called 'intellect' runs up against a big barrier. The mind and reason can only take you so far. Then i guess is when you hit up against God.
It is impossible, i think, to reason your way to God, although i believe reason and logic will lead you in that direction. Creation points towards a master God, a master Creator. If you follow logic and reason, I believe it will point you in that direction. The question is, who put you up to reasoning and logic? I think that points to that God the seeker idea. I think god puts that hunger for knowledge and reason/logic within people so they will seek him out.
But you are right, there is a point where reason ends and then faith must put on shoes and walk.
I am thinking right now of an account in the New Testament of when a leader of the 'religious right' sought out Jesus one night. He came in hiding, and asked Jesus about faith and life, etc. Here is a man who is highly versed in spiritual things. He knows the laws, knows the books, knows the CODE, does it all, and yet he finds himself still looking for answers.
I am going to have to go and read this passage again, for i think it speaks to this discussion in a very relevant way, but the example backs up your point....reason and knowledge can only take you so far.
I think I am also going to revisit Ecclesiasties...a very pertinent example for this discussion.
Thank you for the insight.
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